My Dear Janette Belle

It is hard for me to write at all now. My inspiration is lost an I have a feeling that I know where it is; with you. You have absorbed my words, my thoughts, and my feelings. Mine is mine no more, because what is mine is yours. Without you here near me, there is no way for me to express feeling on paper and through words. I try to find inspiration in books and papers written by brilliant masters of our language, but you have given me more than there brilliance ever could. You have given me the ability to feel a love that vibrates through me daily. These vibrations hit my pen and give entertainment to those that care for my work. I must not have much of a talent, because my audience is small and has been that way for a while now. There are no more words, no more stories, and no more fairy tales without you. I await your reply eagerly in the crevice of my bed where hope and faith lie.

Forever your honorable King

Good Morning Janette Belle

Last night was lonely. I spent my hours in a world of imagination. Illustrations of your image filled my view, and Beauty was captured. It was very distant unfortunately. But nonetheless I was pleased with the sight of my heart's closest companion, as I always am. My dreams provided me with much more satisfaction. I felt you next to me. I grabbed for your hand and touched heaven. I looked into your eyes and saw God. Your soul was holy and gave me comfort. I woke up next to you, kissed your forehead, and then you disappeared. You went back to your place of rest. Now I long for the sight of Beauty again. She walks on the corners of my heart.

Forever your honorable King

Brothers

Today I had the privilege of experiencing a day with my little brother, it was beyond beautiful. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would enjoy a day with him, I would have deemed them the world's biggest retard. But today was incredible, it was special. I went to his track meet today and watched him fly though his heats and win two of three races. I was with him as he warmed up for the events and I was there at the finish line yelling his name with all the love in my heart and I know that he could feel it. After his last race he came and gave me a hug and we were happy.

It has taken me a while to learn how to love him or any of my family members. For the longest time I despised all of my family, excluding my mother. But I can really give this one to the Creator. He has planted a love in our hearts that allowed us to experience brotherhood at its purest form. I am truly grateful for that gift God has given me, my little brother, I love him.

Lost letter to my Janette Belle

Every breath taken in your presence is sacred, not one wasted. With each breath I have captured the essence of what you are, I inhale your beauty and sink into your scent. I enjoy our time together and dread the time we endure apart. That horrible and hellish period seems to never end. But when God answers my prayers and you are back in my arms, my heart smiles. I am overwhelmed with the joy of an angel. I guess it is what my love is like for you. My love for you reaches the depths and heights of my soul's light. My world is dark without you, but light reaches me when you are around and I can see beauty again. A beauty that embodies all of what He created, which has been deemed good. A beauty that is inside you, that I enjoy so much. Show me your beauty in words. Let me read the intelligence of your physicality the purity of your soul, and the innocence of your heart. When you write me, let me feel your emotions through the language you present on paper. Let your love show itself in your words, so that my heart may smile again.

Forever your honorable King

A Look Into the Heart

I am a lover of love and passion. I am referred to as the hopeless romantic, but I don't mind. I admire true love and I even long to experience it to the fullest. There is one major problem though, I am extremely impatient. If there were a list printed for ingredients needed to love, patience would be at the top of the list. As a matter of fact, it is. In 1 Corinthians 13:4 the verse begins "Love is Patient". And this is so true. Love is not a thirty minute sprint, a two hour wrestle, or a week vacation. Love is the reward given to those that master the art of patience.

What many must understand is what it means to be patient. Patience is not watching life aimlessly pass by and do nothing about it. It does not mean allowing others the free opportunity to run all over you. Patience is endurance and perseverance. The ability to endure all and the will to persevere through all. The love that we seek is timeless and travels beyond this world that we know. If we are ever going to be able to grab a piece of this "love", we must gain endurance first. This takes practice and cannot be mastered in one or just a few days. Learn to endure the troubles of others around you and your endurance will build. But with endurance must come perseverance. Being able to withstand something does you no good if you do not have the want to push on. Love last through every storm and makes it across every river because it wants to see who is on the other side.

Learn to persevere, gain endurance, become patient and Love the one you are meant to love. Forever.

Beyond the Moves

Tonight I had the privledge of watching a young lady dance her heart away on stage for the judges on the tv series "So You Think You Can Dance". She was beautiful and her dancing was next to brilliant. The only thing that's different or unique about her is her body. She is not the typical size for a dancer and many people have confronted her about her weight. She is definitely a hefty young lady but nonetheless she possesses more beauty than many supermodels. She floated across stage with a golden heart and love filled the room and I felt it from my couch. She has a passion for dance that is incredible and I wish to one day obtain a passion like that for the things that I do in my life. She unfortunately did not make it past the choreography round, but she did an excellent job and I commend her for that. Megan Carter you are an inspiration.

To my dear Janette Belle 2

I cannot cope with the fact that you are not here with me. My soul is lost and searching for your breast to rest on. I see illusions of you around every street corner and inside every grocery store. I cannot go a night without spending time with you in my dreams. We sing, dance, enjoy each other, and love. You are the mere reality of my fantasy. Atleast that's how it used to be; but now that you are gone I'm no longer living, just floating by each day, waiting for the day I see you again. That will be a glorious day, life will be livable and love will be an involuntary and natural act. Until then I will clench your pillow to my chest and remember how you felt against my body.

Forever your honarable King

To my dear Janette Belle

As I have told you before, these times are hard for me. I struggle everyday to function without hearing the soft sound of every breath you take or feel your fingers locked with mine. Even though I hurt during the day, it hits me the most when the sun rests. I begin to remember the nights we used to spend together and reminisce. It is kind of wierd though, because my body has become numb without you. My arms have molded to the shape that your body makes when I hold you; and I dont know what to do now that you aren't here. It is a struggle for me to stand up straight and sit down right. I toss and turn at night because I have become accustomed to you being my teddy bear and my night light. You take away all the bad dreams and the monsters leave us alone because they are so taken by your beauty. It kind of makes me feel proud to be lying next to someone so beautiful, but you humble me and I love you for that. Right now I am missing those times where I get to kiss you good night and then immediately begin to dream about you.

Forever your honorable King