I Met a Girl

I met a girl today.

Walking out in the town, heading to the coffee shop I spotted a five-dollar bill lying on the ground just under a sidewalk bench. I proceeded to walk across the street to retrieve the unclaimed treasure. There was not a car in sight, so I continued thinking that the coast was clear. Midway on my b-line to Abe Lincoln’s portrait I felt a tap on my right shoulder. The tap was very small and annoying, so I just waved it off, and headed for my cash prize. I took a few more steps, and there it was again, an annoying tapping on my shoulder. I glanced over to see who was trying to ruin my morning when I spotted the sweetest face. For a second there I actually forgot about the money lying on the ground.

I was torn to pieces trying to decide what to do in this tricky situation. I could either acknowledge this beautiful woman in front of me, or become five bucks richer. While at cahoots with myself, I noticed that the woman began to do strange movements in front of me. It seemed like she was apart of a large game of charades, I just didn’t notice the other participants. I began to question the young woman. I ask her if she was okay, or if she needed help with anything. I guess I had the thought that I was being rude, so I even introduced myself and asked for her name, but she still played the charade game like a champ.

After about a minute of utter confusion she began to lead me back on my journey towards wealth and happiness. She kept gesturing different things, holding up five fingers and then rubbing her fingertips together. I just couldn’t get the hint. I asked her if she wanted five dollars, and with all kinds of excitement she nodded yes, like I had finally got her.

Well this is just perfect. I find five bucks with my name on it and some psycho woman wants it. I would have no choice but to give it to her because she wouldn’t leave me alone until I actually did. I tried to tell her that I didn’t have any cash on me. I even offered to buy her food with my credit card, though she didn’t look at all like a street beggar. She denied all of my false claims. She continued to lead me to the crumbled up piece of currency until I finally picked it up.

She began clapping like a mother would at her child’s first steps, and then stood there with her hand out. Only because I just could not go another second watching this woman ransack my bubble, I gave her the cash.

I was confused out of all get out at her response. “Phew, thanks. That took forever.”

Are you freaking kidding me! The silent psycho beauty speaks! What the fudge nuggets??

I proceeded, “Wait one gosh darn minute lady! You can talk?”

With the most girlish reply, “Yep!”

“So, what was this whole act you just did? I mean was that really necessary?”

She giggled, “Yea, kind of. It’s apart of my pledge process. Make a stranger give you money without speaking to them.”

“Well, did you have to do it like that?”

“Not exactly. Most girls just do a strip tease at parties, but I thought I’d find a more creative way of completing the task.”

Pointing to the five-dollar bill, then to the ground, “Did you put that there?”

“No, it was actually a really big coincidence that I saw it there while trying to figure out how to do this thing. I waited here for like ten minutes for someone to walk by, and finally you came.”

“That’s ridiculous. Anything else you have to do?”

“Yep, make someone’s day full of sunshine and roses. Here ya go.”

She handed me the five bucks.