On Mary (Part II)

Tony froze; lungs inflated with hesitation, and his mind racing a million miles a minute trying to find something to say. He searched for the words to describe the dark sea that he was currently drowning in. He closed his eyes for a moment to remember her, and then he opened them to prevent the birth of tears.

Sarah waited patiently for him to answer. She examined his movements, every wince of his lip, each double blink, even the way he rubbed his hands was taken into account. His nervousness was obvious, so she did not pressure him into a quick answer.

Tony began to speak, his voice was broken and his words were somewhat choppy. Tears began to fall from his cheeks as he spoke, "I have not seen her for three periods of thirty days, but I have seen rose gardens and ocean waters. My eyes have been filled with the genius of God's hand, his artistic touch left upon nature, but I have missed her face. I was, and still am, so madly in love with that woman that my heart would literally beat at her pace. If she was asleep while I stayed up late struggling for words to finish a project, my heart would beat as slow and as soft as her's. On days that she ran through the fields of our summer home, I would lay on the porch swing and marvel at her beauty while holding my chest to slow down my racing heart. Now that her's beats no more, I wish for mine to go at the same rate, but not all wishes can be granted. Not even death can be given when asked for, it only sneaks up and takes you by surprise like the thief in the night. Death will be pleasant, for when I die, my heart will beat again."

There was a certain stillness in the room now. The sounds that filled the room were the sniffles that came from Tony's nose and the sound of the running air-condition.

Sarah placed her glasses softly on her notepad, which sat comfortably on her lap. Her eyes gazed deep into the soul of the man that lay before her. For years she has studied human behavior. She has come up with theories on why women tend to like jerks, but search years hoping to fall in love with the right man. And why men tend to want multiple sexual partners, but look down upon women who are just as promiscuous.

After all of the pages of knowledge that she has packed into her brain, along with the countless patients she has dealt with, this particular encounter was her most challenging. She had to battle with the most powerful entity known to man, love. Love has the ability to overtake every rational sense of a person, and the worst part is that once love takes over a person, he or she will never be in control.

“Well Tony, you sure do love your wife.”

“This is true. To death.”

“Have you contemplated suicide?”

“I have thought of being with my wife. I am my happiest when I am with her. So in order to rid myself of this mountain of depression, I think it will be best for me to go where she is.”

“What is stopping you?”

“She wouldn’t be happy if I did such a thing. She was always an optimist. She believed that things would always get better, no matter what the situation was. So I’m tied in an inevitable knot.”

“I see,” she paused to think, “Well, can we make a deal?”

“Yes.”

“I want to see you once a week for the next three months. In each session we can talk as much as you want, you can tell me all that you want, or we can be silent. It is all up to you, but I want you to make sure that you are here, once, every week. Deal?”

“I guess I’ll have to hold off the big jump for another week, huh doc?” Tony said this in a joking manner.

“Tony, that’s not funny!”

He smiled and walked out of her office to schedule an appointment for the next week.

Meanwhile, Sarah stayed in her office to think over her plans for this patient. She closed her eyes to imagine what he might be feeling at this moment and what would be the best way to help him. She sat there rubbing her forehead gently for ten minutes then opened her eyes to a surprise. She looked on the couch and found a ring rested in the center of it. It was Mary’s; Tony had left it there.