My Dearest
I have found, and am now apart of what many run from due to fear. I too have tried to run from it, but you have kept me held in your grasp. One would say it that it is insane for a human to enjoy the pain in which is received from another. I would beg to differ, for I find the most joy in the pain that I experience with you. With your pain I am reminded that I am alive, and alive with you is greater than the life in which angels speak of, before or after death.
I am a silent man when trouble spots me; you have known this, and yet, still you are angered by my silence. I beg of you, master of my present heart, allow me time of grievance in solitude. I assure you that you will soon find your opportunity to wipe my tears away, but patience is the greatest cloth for my watery eyes. Though I wish for your patience, I am also appreciative of your eagerness to cure my pain.
I apologize for only expressing my truest feelings through ink, but I am not well spoken in such translations as these. I have read words written by John Keats and only think of you, “Ask yourself … whether you are not very cruel to have so entrammelled me, so destroyed my freedom”. He speaks of the woman who has stolen his heart and confined him to hers. You have done the same for me. I would rather sit, in silence, in a room with you that is fogged with frustration, than to have the wings that would carry me to the land of a thousand women. I have been taken by your spell, and only hope to never forget how to woo you.
Often, when we are comfortable with someone we forget to remember them first before ourselves. Only the memory of their happiness cannot be enough to satisfy the senses of pleasure. It is only pleasurable to experience the happiness of another soul. I hope to find pleasure with you day after day until there are no more days to be counted.
TLK
